Tuesday, June 11, 2013


Oh, look. The video froze on a shot of Bard the Bowman (with bonus frowning Dwalin visage in the bottom right corner).


It's here.


*spoilers ahoy!*

I really had no idea who was talking at first. Surely, I thought, it could not be the dragon. It didn't sound anything like a dragon. So when the camera panned to Thranduil I was relieved. "Ah, of course it's the elf. He looks suitably condescending. It seems he also has a motive now for jailing the Dwarves, so all is good."

Then came the feels: barrels! Butterflies! Elves swinging through the trees like monkeys or insects with arrows! Legolas! Hey, why does he look CGI? Hmm. I think it's the lightning. Anyway, THORIN! Yay, Thorin.

Beorn! At least, I think that's Beorn. It's either a bear or a very large, scary dog... Oh, and, look, there's the back of Kili's head. Why doesn't he or Fili show up for the rest of the trailer? Sad face.

Legolas looks like a Jedi there as he and Tauriel look out at Laketown. I'm withholding my judgment so far on Tauriel. As a movie-only character, the purists hate her on sight. I'm fine with her being a genderswapped captain of the guards, but if there is ANY romance with ANYONE or she helps the Dwarves escape, I will be most annoyed.


Seriously. A lot of movies would be better off without a stupid romantic subplot. It's rarely handled realistically, anyway. Even Thor. They know each other two days. TWO DAYS.

Oh, no, Gandalf in Dol Guldur! This should be interesting. It looks like Thrain jumps on Gandalf and starts attacking him to me. Of course, it could be an orc, not Thrain. Still, if it is Thrain... how did Gandalf have the map and key to give to Thorin??? Not sure. Perhaps Thrain gave them to Gandalf before he left on his demented quest? Huh.

Why does the music sound like Pirates of the Caribbean? It's good, but it's not Middle-earth. Really. Howard Shore, please tell me you aren't responsible for it.

Is it just me, or does Azog look better CGI-wise? The lighting works there, I think. His climb onto the rampart is also suitably intimidating. Where's Bolg? Has Bolg been abandoned for Azog? Goodness, I hope not. Bolg is the one who is supposed to be there, anyway.

Snow! Snow in Laketown! We might get the BOFA in snow! Yay! ...Or, on second thoughts, not yay.

How in the world is Bombur in a barrel tossed through the air? There go all the people who say The Hobbit is too cartoony again...

Kili and Thorin, how can you use weapons while in barrels? I told you, they must be ninja dwarves. No other explanation.

"That, my dear lad, was a dragon." Props to Balin for making that the scariest line in the trailer. He remembers very well what Smaug is capable of, and it shows in his tone... Yikes.

(On a totally random note, I like the clothes Bifur got in Laketown. With his very Dwarvish appearance - I loved the black and white braided moustache from day one - he looks surprisingly authoritative. Almost even regal. Quite surprising, considering this is Bifur, but whatevs. I like how Dwalin looks almost Russian or something in all those furs, too. I will be sad to see Thorin's blue coat go, though. Sad face.)

Am actually rather upset they showed as much of Smaug as they did, even if they left him in shadow. We didn't even get to hear his theme - or the Ring's theme - which gives me hope that this is not the music Howard Shore has composed / will have composed for the movie.

I think they should have just shown the tip of Smaug's snout and possibly his glowing eye, and left it at that.

His eye actually looks a bit different, somehow. Maybe it's the lightning. Who knows? We won't know until we see him in full. No doubt it will all clear up then.

In the meanwhile... six whole months. *headdesk*

How are we going to survive?

In Pace Christi,


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