Thursday, July 11, 2013

Honest Titles for The Silmarillion

These are all insanely accurate. Basically, The Silmarillion consists of thousands of years of the Valar trying to build the world (or tear it down in the case of Melkor/Morgoth, a.k.a. Sauron's boss) and the Elves running around fighting over jewelry. Have you noticed that jewelry is always evil in Tolkien's world?

I wish my copy of The Silmarillion was as pretty as this cover. No, mine is tiny and gray with a hilariously hideous picture of Feanor on the cover. At least, I assume it's Feanor. The three Silmarils (the jewels he made, over which everyone fights and after which the book is named) are the only clue. His clothes look like something worn by a mad old fortune-teller woman, with a shawl and all, in ludicrous shades of red and yellow. He appears to have blue hair, blue earrings, and some sort of tiara thing. Oh, and bracelets.

Me: ??????

Seriously, I've seen better fanart. A lot of better fanart. (For some reason, a lot of fangirls like Feanor. I can't see why. He's an idiot. Maedhros and Maglor? Sure I have a soft spot for them. But not for their idiot dad.)

It reminds me of an early copy of The Hobbit (or The Lord of the Rings, I can't remember) which had an emu and a tree with pink fluffy balls on it, meant to suggest a Christmas tree. J. R. R. Tolkien was informed that the painter hadn't had time to read the book.

He was understandably very upset about it.

In Pace Christi,


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