...Yet I am.
Here is my Official Guide to the Bathrooms On the UNA Campus, provided out of the graciousness of my heart for all the high schoolers who inundate our campus with their screeching and irreverence and who may or may not be considering attending UNA.
This review concerns the girls' restrooms only of course. For obvious reasons. Also, girls are more likely to care about this sort of things than guys.
Collier Library has the best bathrooms. They are always very clean and tidy; they are not cramped; and there are enough stalls so that it is never crowded. In fact, they are my favorite bathrooms on campus and I will walk across campus in order to go there rather than in a building that is not so great in that department.
NOTE: I am speaking about the bathrooms on the second/first floor (depends on whether you use the European or American numbering system in this regard). The basement bathroms are not so nice. The faucets work backwards and will spray water up on you upon the slightest of provocation.
In my experience, the bathrooms in the math building are the worst. It seemed to me that the girls' bathroom hasn't been repaired since it was part of Kilby. Once it was flooded. You have to hold the faucet with one hand to keep it steady while you turn the knob with the other. I have sworn never to go there again.
I would also like to say that rumors that the bathrooms in the Guillot are haunted by... what's her name... the ghost of the girl that hung herself... ah, well, I have never seen her in the mirror, at any rate. Those bathrooms are fairly well-kept and but at certain times can become very crowded. Particularly when said high schoolers flood campus.
The bathrooms in Stevens are very tiny and cramped, and they are also liable to be crowded with people right after/before class changes. I have also sworn never to go there again if I can help it after an incident in which the queue extended right out the door.
I have only ever been to the bathroom in Floyd once, and I found it tiny and disreputable-looking. I will also never go there again if I can help it- and, in fact, the one time I did go it was because I had no time to walk across campus to go somewhere else.
The bathrooms in Bibb Graves are rather cramped for space. Also, a lot of the times some girl has brushed her hair over the sink and there are hairs in it. Even I know better than to do that. (I also do not obsessively brush my hair.) I wonder how often the drains are clogged. Also, these bathrooms tend to be crowded just before/after class change.
The bathrooms in Keller are generally roomy and well-kept, but also have a tendency to be crowded. Also, some of the toilet paper dispenser are held together with scotch tape and spit; if you bump them the side may come off and attack you at a very... inopportune moment. Just sayin'.
Of course, almost every building has the obligatory stall whose latch does not work. This is when heavy backpacks are useful for holding the door shut.
Thank you for reading this Official Guide to the Bathrooms On the UNA Campus! I hope this has be very informative and helpful to you as you consider colleges across the country.
In Pace Christi,