Monday, March 18, 2013

Because It Needs To Be Posted Again

A day may come when I stop generally goofing off on the Internet and practice my speech for tomorrow...

But it is not this day!

Just kidding. I've already practiced it twice and I should run through it again (it's so hard for me to practice with a webcam; there's a very strong temptation to just start laughing hysterically). I should make notecards. However, I have a crippling fear of (1) not being able to read my own writing due to its tiny size, light pencilling, and general sloppiness- this is a legitimate fear (2) mixing up my notecards- also a legitmate fear and (3) the fact that this would keep me looking down at my hands instead of out at the audience. It doesn't help that that room doesn't even have a podium I could line up my cards on.

At the very least, I could hide behind the podium. When you're short, you can do things like that.

No such luck, however.

Other legitmate fears are that I will become nervous and start talking more quickly, thus preventing anyone from understanding what I'm saying and causing me to run under the time limit (again) or that I will forget what I was supposed to be saying and instead just start rambling on meaningless things, causing me to run over the time limit (again). Goodness. It's a good thing I've already taken speech or I would be majorly freaking out at this point. It is also good that we are not to use any PowerPoints because all the overachievers in class would have nice, pretty, well-organized PowerPoints and I would be the only one (again) to not have a PowerPoint and who also couldn't even remember to bring a poster about my topic.

Story of my life. I fail when it comes to technology. Ah, well, let's just hope that I can make someone laugh or at least smile tomorrow. I am a firm believer in the power of humor. I always try to be funny during my speeches, because I think that an amused audience relaxes the speaker and also puts the audience in a more kindly disposition towards the speaker- and a happy audience is potentially a more attentive audience.

And, why, yes, I am attempting to exorcise my fears by blogging about them. It helps sometimes, y'know? I put a lot of myself into my writings. I put some of my traits into my characters occasionally- even my negative traits. Actually, I think recognizing my own negative traits and dealing with them by describing them in another helps me to identify my own behavior in that regard and avoid it in the future. See? My writing is therapeutic.

I have also looked up the requirements for a chemical engineering degree at other colleges. I am now suitably intimidated and want to go hide under a couch somewhere. I am really afraid that I will change my major and then not like chemistry and math, as irrational as that fear may be. We can't all be mad scientists.

I just think this gif is funny. I'm not actually like that. In fact, I spend time on a regular basis trying to convince my little brother that chemistry is not all about boiling strangely-colored liquids, evaporating solutions into tubes, and bringing dead bodies back to life with lightning. (Because, of course, Lightning Can Do Anything!)

In Pace Christi,


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