Saturday, March 30, 2013

Heh, Heh

So I discovered a new treasure trove of anti-Twilight things on Pinterest last night, and you know what happens when I find funny things I like on Pinterest or on Tumblr...


(Oh, yes, and now I can get back on Tumblr, since I gave it up for Lent. Today is Holy Saturday, and we've always reckoned that Lent lasts from Ash Wednesday to Good Friday inclusively, with the exception of Sundays. So lalalala, I will be getting up to all kinds of shenanigans now, no doubt...)

So, without further ado:

Hahahaha! I hope you like this one, Audrey.

By the way, Snape is my favorite character in the books (in fact, he was what motivated me to go back and read the series all the way through, because otherwise I would have stopped with Chamber of Secrets in 3rd or 4th grade). I don't really idealize him (though I wish things could have turned out so much better for him); I'm fully aware that he's not a great guy and he's mean to little children... but... he made a mistake and spends the rest of his life atoning for it, never wanting the slightest bit of attention or glory for what he's done. He's the only one who ever seemed to me to really have to choose between good and evil (and have I mentioned that I'm always fond of the characters who turn from evil to good?), and it was a hard choice.

I also think Dumbledore was a little too manipulative with him. The Pensieve scene where Snape starts ranting about how he's done all this for Potter and to learn now that Dumbledore plans to have him killed... yeah... I think Dumbledore might have gone a little too far. Then again, Dumbledore terrifies me in the first place with his manipulativeness. Seriously, he creeps me out, and has from Philosopher's Stone. Harry mentions that he thinks Dumbledore let him try to protect the stone from Voldemort because he had earned it, so to speak, by what had happened with his parents.

HELLO, DUMBLEDORE!!! Revenge is not to be encouraged in your Chosen One! Nor should you allow any eleven-year-old to confront an extremely dangerous dark wizard, even if you suspect his mother's magic/love is protecting him! For crying out loud, you should have locked that door better! Hermione opens it with Alohomora and there's a THREE-HEADED DOG on the other side!

Sometimes I just think the Wizarding World doesn't really care about the safety of its children. It also ignores the rules of logic whenever it can, but I've ranted enough as it is...

On to more Twilight bashing!

I mean, Gollum doesn't want to eat the Ring. Granted, he acts all creepy and stalks it (and the Ringbearer), but, hey, it's still a better love story than Twilight...


Even I think this. In fact, there are many, many, many things I think are better than Twilight. And I only read the first book all the way through.

Objection (1): He's undead. Can you say 'Uncanny Valley effect'? I do not like the undead! The only vampire I might consider remotely cool is John Mitchell from Being Human (okay, okay, primarily because Aidan Turner plays him), and even then it's in spite of the fact that he's a vampire, not because of it.

Objection (2): He's way too old for her! I acknowledge that there is a different between physical age and mental/emotional/psychological maturity, but both factor in! There is an extreme imbalance here..

Objection (3): He's a stalker. HE COMES IN HER ROOM AT NIGHT TO WATCH HER SLEEP. Words just can't convey how objectionable this is. I would be fleeing the country, I think...

Objection (4): HE WANTS TO EAT HER.

Objection (5): She's an idiot. And helpless. Seriously, I don't think it's possible for someone to be that pathetic in real life. (Hopefully.) I mean, they pass off a vampire attack on her as falling down a few flights of stairs and out a window, and she has such a record of being clumsy that THEY BELIEVE IT.

I have a lot more objections, but I also have more pictures, so let us proceed to the pictures, which are what everyone is here for anyways...

'Madness' describes it aptly, enough, I think...

Hahahahahahaha... RUN, EDWARD, RUN!!!! A pack of dinosaurs is closing in on you!!! Hahahahaha... Actually, I think that would make an awesome movie, don't you think! "Vampires vs. Dinosaurs." It would be cool, especially if the dinosaurs won.

Have I mentioned that I have a weird love for parasaurolophi? And Lambeosauri? (I'd rather use the Latin plural that say stuff like "parasaurolophuses".) In fact, I think the duckbill dinosaurs are in general rather underappreciated in favor of the toothy carnivores. Speaking of which, I think Allosaurus fragilis rocks in comparison to Tyrannosaurux rex. T. rex has those stupid tiny little arms and a massive head, so it ends up looking dispproportionate and stupid. Allosaurus, on the other hand, has a much more balanced frame and longer arms. It also has three functional fingers on each hand.

Yes, I'm discussing this entirely from memory. I'm that much of a nerd. (That, and the fact that I have spent many hours in the language lab researching dinosaurs while listening to German radio.)

Oh, and the Allosaurus has a much cooler color scheme in Zoo Tycoon than T. rex. T. rex just gets this plain mottled green-gold, while Allosaurus gets this beige with red stripes coloring. It's quite awesome, really. Oh, and Allosaurus has bosses over its eyes that give it a more fearsome appearance. Granted, it's not as cool as Carnotaurus (whose arms are even more pathetic than those of T. rex, by the way), but it's still better than T. rex.

Also, T. rex is too mainstream. XP

I think I would do anything rather than earn this punishment! Please, Snape, I'll scrub cauldrons! I do the dishes at home all the time; I'm sure I would get them nice and clean!

P. S. I always love how he adjusts his sleeves before doing this to Harry and Ron.

And that, my friends, is why we love Charlie and his moustache.

True dat!

Can we get a resounding "Amen"? Or at least a resounding, "Yaaaaaaay!"

XD I am obviously having way too much fun with this, but, hey, why not?

In Pace Christi,


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