Thursday, January 24, 2013

I Don't Even Know Why I Am Sharing This

Whenever I have dreams that I remember, they're always... interesting, to say the least.

One of my personal favorites was a dream I had, shortly after Nick Saban started his glorious dynasty of national victories and effortless steamrolling of opponents at Alabama, where I was trapped in a bookstore on the UA campus (I have actually been there, ironically, while I have never been to Auburn). For some reason, there was a copy of the book Gone with the Wind in the bookstore. The author was different, however. I was curiously flipping through it when Saban found me and started expostulating at length about why I should leave my Auburn heathenism and convert to the Church of Roll Tide.

Needless to say, my family loves reminding me of that.

There was also the dream I had where I was being chased by Boba Fett, Darth Vader, and various other Star Wars villains through a historical landmark house. For some reason, I had a lightsaber, which I had absolutely no idea how to use. Stupidly, I was also running with it while it was lit. (Lit? Extended? How do you describe a lightsaber when it is 'on'?") Worse than running with scissors... I think some random family members were with me, too, being chased. A few others were arranging a display of brochures, very unconcerned at the fact that I kept running past them with Sith on my tail.

Yep. That's the sort of dreams I have.

I used to have a lot of dreams about being underwater and panicking at the fact that I was apparently breathing underwater. That's right. I didn't have dreams about drowning. I had dreams about being able to breathe underwater and panicking about that.

I also had a dream where there were these terrifying giant clams. No exaggeration. They were in an airport with bad lighting and escalators to nowhere. Cousins were also involved. (I love my family. This means they also appear with me in my dream adventures. Not so happily for them, I guess.)

Anyway, last night I had another equally interesting dream, which, for whatever reason, I am about to relate. I suppose I am putting this all on here for the amusement of my friends (I like making people laugh), and also so someday I will look back on this pathetic little blog and smile at the things I thought were funny then.


So my dream last night started dramatically, like the beginning of The Two Towers movie where Frodo and Sam are climbing over the rocks of the Emyn Muil. However, this time it was Frodo and Bilbo. They climbed up to a pinnacle of 'rock', me following them for whatever reason. However, the 'mountain' turned out to be a wall of Sauron's castle, and it was built out of giant LEGO bricks, orc skeletons in wire cages, and random concrete blocks and rusted girders. Not too sturdy.

As you might have expected, I was not near so nimble as the two hobbits, and so I sort of caused the wall to collapse. I don't know what happened to Frodo and Bilbo. I guess they vanished. I walked over to Sauron's castle. (It was also a school. That fact would explain a lot about our present day education system.)

Inside Sauron's 'castle' it appeared to be your average institution, with concrete block walls, tile floors, and drop ceilings. I think there were vending machines. At any rate, Sauron did not see me, which is good. What is bad/amusing is that I saw Sauron.

Just guess what Sauron looked like.

I blame Amy.

Sauron was Benedict Cumberbatch. In jeans.

At that, I lost my Willing Suspension of Disbelief while in the dream. That's right. I was dreaming and I thought to myself, "This is ridiculous. I don't believe this was happening." I may or may not have actually realized it was a dream, but it was hilarious, so I went along with the ride.

(Oh, and I still do not find Benedict Cumberbatch attractive at all, for your information. Martin Freeman, on the other hand, is adorable.)

Anyway, Sauron/Ben Cumberbatch was running around trying to clean up his 'castle', which was a wreck. Why was he doing this? Galadriel had just had a telepathic conversation with him, telling him that she was coming over to check on him, like a mother making sure that a naughty child had actually cleaned his room when she told him too.

Cue even more hysterical laughter from me. While in the dream, mind you.

Unfortunately, I woke up at that point. I really, really, really would have liked to see how that dream would have ended.

And then I could have blogged about it.

In Pace Christi,


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