## Wednesday, May 7, 2014

### DE Prof Master Post

To celebrate the end of the semester, allow me to present to you a master post of my differential equations professor's (usually unintentionally) humorous sayings:

v  It’s falling because that’s what things do.

v  A differential equation is something with a lot of x’s.

v  If that’s a sense allowed in the English language.

v  Stand back! I’m about to do some basic arithmetic!

v  I don’t have your tests graded yet. They take time and… - (student) Excuses. – Oh, so you want to me grade them like I do finite – just get drunk and start marking them all 0 or 50? – (student) No. We’re good. Take your time.

v  Say you have p sheep and some of the sheep kill each other. These are vicious sheep.

v  Partial fractions! We should be having traumatic memories of Cal 2 right now.

v  All models are bad, but some are useful.

v  This dry-erase marker is larger than an atom.

v  We can employ the method of… whatever to solve that.

v  There’s a quote… the shortest path between two truths passes through the complex plane.

v  You know, I don’t like Roman numerals. Roman numerals are stupid. *rubs it out and puts a 1 instead*

v  Let’s exponentiate this.

v  Any questions on how to find T? I hope we only have to find it for T, not coffee. *takes a sip*

v  I think f needs to be continuous for this theorem. Eh, I don’t care.

v  Uh-Oh. I’ve got c1and c2 switched in my notes. We’re in trouble.

v  I’m not an expert on differential equations. I’m just teaching this class because no one else wanted to.

v  Is everyone kind of okay with this?

v  Are you not entertained?

v  Okay, just pretend I’m allowed to multiply. Turns out I am. There’s probably a theorem somewhere to prove it.

v  We will solve this for the general solution, which is the answer of… whatever form for all questions like this.

v  (on SIR epidemic model) A recovered individual may or may not be dead. This model includes the dead people in the recovered. They are no longer infectious and are immune to further infection. I guess they’re not zombies, since they’re no longer infectious.

v  (on Laplace translation theorem) This theorem will not tell you how to calculate the Laplace transform in Spanish. De transformada de Laplace. No, we mean geometric translation.

v  This is an important theorem, which we won’t prove. Hooray.

v  It’s a fact from… somewhere… that an irreducible quadratic can be written as a sum of two square. You probably remember from algebra, how you could write it with arctan… Well, we’re doing something else now.

v  It will be the solution, the only solution, by some uniqueness theorem.

v  Okay, over here I have DE world, and over here I have Laplace world. This is the left side of the chart, and this is the right.

v  First I have to kill that 2 in front of x’.

v  This is one of our favorite methods from Cal 2. And how many times do we need to use it? Dos!

v  Is everyone okay with how we found x? The battle for x is over.

v  I think there is an arbitrary constant somewhere that I missed that’s important. Sorry, guys.

v  Why did we solve for F(x,y)? – (student) Because you told us to.

v  How about #4? Wait, I think we did #4 in class. How about #6? No, it looks like #4. Let’s do #8.

I think I'll actually miss this teacher...

In Pace Christi,

Elyse
"Why did we solve for F(x, y)?"

"Because you told us to."

- my differential equations professor and a disgruntled student

## Wednesday, April 30, 2014

### Saruman Will Defeat Rohan With Sugar

From FailBlog:

"Is this it? Is this all you can conjure, Saruman?"

...a few attacks by the brightly-colored blobs of sugary goodness on the Hornburg later...

"What can men do against such reckless Peeps?"

...

Okay, I thought it was funny. *slinks away*

In Pace Christi,

Elyse

## Thursday, April 24, 2014

### Mother Knows Best

This time, you really do want to skip the drama and stay with mama, because Our Lady truly does know best.

(I can't remember where I found that one, but it was on some Catholic Facebook face. I've found a lot of them. I'd never join Facebook just for their sake when I can lurk and snap up unconsidered trifles... memes, that is... but they do provide funny ways of sharing the Faith. I am very grateful for that.)

Oh, and this one was hilarious:

This is pretty much what happens whenever an evangelical Christian smells Catholicism. I've never been on the receiving end of this other than that one time. Actually, I've been pretty surprised by how little prejudice I've encountered at college (relatively speaking).

It probably helps that I avoid social interactions. Ah, well.

In Pace Christi,

Elyse

## Monday, April 21, 2014

### Let The Semester End Already

I'm at that point of the semester where I don't know if I want to sleep or cry in a corner more. This point of the semester is also characterized by the inability to decide whether to completely shut the world off and focus exclusively on studying or to just give up and start watching random animes until the wee hours of the morning.

Why.

Why, professors, why.

In Pace Christi,

Elyse

### Theory of Creativity

I would like to promulgate the following theory, proposed by myself about the relationship between real life and one's private fantasies:

Creativity is directly proportional to the amount of caffeine and sugar consumed and indirectly proportional to the amount of time available.

In mathematical terms, this would come out to:

C = k_1(a_c + a_s)/k_2t

where C stands for the amount of creativity, k_1 and k_2 are arbitrary constants of proportionality, a_c stands for the amount of caffeine consumed and a_2 for the amount of sugar consumed, and t stands for the amount of time available.

I do not know what units C will have, but right now it's looking something like grams/seconds. However, it is hard to define a mental/spiritual quality in physical terms, so this attempt to define it is doomed.

I still think this should be published in a research journal somewhere.

In Pace Christi,

Elyse

## Wednesday, April 16, 2014

### Help, The Fandom's Dragging Me Under!

When I know enough about Naruto to be able to understand where this Catholic Anime meme is coming from and also to be able to say, "Well, in his case, some angst is justified," that's a bad sign.

Someone, help. This fandom is dragging me under. I swore I would never join the league of magic ninjas. And you know what happens whenever I say "never"? IT HAPPENS.

I don't wanna join this fandom! I have the sinking sensation that my favorite character would be Sasuke and that I would then get my heart broken. I have enough depressing fandoms on my plate right now, thank you very much. *coughThereAndBackAgaincough*

*flees before the ninjas appear*

In Pace Christi,

Elyse

### For Your Holy Week Amusement

I am back with the latest round of Catholic-themed funnies! Credits for these first few go to Pope Hilarious gags on Facebook:

Dat cake.

This is both hilarious and very true. I think I'm going to save it, as I have the feeling I might someday be able to use it.

...I have quite an arsenal of Pope Benedict pictures and other Catholic-themed funnies with which to challenge any anti-Catholic hate directed towards me on the Internet. However, I haven't gotten any anti-Catholic hate. Strange. Not that I'm complaining, mind you. I just find it odd that the ultra-liberals haven't found me yet.

I guess there's benefits to being overlooked, as Merry Brandybuck once said. (Read the book.)

How's that for a good picture of Xtreme Papa? XD I like to call him that. I even have a shirt that says that, complete with a picture of him wearing sunglasses. (The image is sadly coming to pieces after being washed, so I don't wear it that often - twice a year at the most.) I continue the tradition by also saying 'Papa Ben' and 'Papa Frankie', even if I do it only on the Internet.

The Swiss Guards (Cors Helvetica) do not look impressed.

I have another of Pope Pius XII captioned: VENI AD ME, FRA, which is Latin for, "Come at me, bro." He seems to have been prone to this stance.

I don't call that a problem; I call that awesome!

This one's on Papa Frankie. His poor assistants... XD

In Pace Christi,

Elyse

## Monday, April 14, 2014

It's a bad sign when even your organic textbook gives up on trying to explain the reasoning behind some of IUPAC's nomenclature decisions and just says: "To keep things interesting, however, IUPAC recognizes eight exceptions for which a -yl ending rather than an -oyl ending is used..."

I really can't decide if IUPAC has its mysterious reasons for deciding how we should name chemical compounds, or if it's just a bunch of nutty Ph.D chemists in a room somewhere laughing maniacally as they assign arbitrary rules that we must all treat as law.

In Pace Christi,

Elyse

## Saturday, April 12, 2014

### My Latest Obsession Now Has Pictures

I cracked. I caved in. I preformed a Google search. Here are the glorious (non-spoilery) results:

So.... um... yeah. Winter Soldier for the win!

Oh, and since I'm one of those people massively upset that Hawkeye/Clint Barton hasn't had any more attention (because he is seriously awesome and deserves all the love), here's a picture of him, too:

I see no downsides to having these two awesome snipers on our Avengers team. Nope. None whatsoever.

*goes back to having non-fictional feels about fictional characters*

In Pace Christi,

Elyse