## Wednesday, May 7, 2014

### DE Prof Master Post

To celebrate the end of the semester, allow me to present to you a master post of my differential equations professor's (usually unintentionally) humorous sayings:

v  It’s falling because that’s what things do.

v  A differential equation is something with a lot of x’s.

v  If that’s a sense allowed in the English language.

v  Stand back! I’m about to do some basic arithmetic!

v  I don’t have your tests graded yet. They take time and… - (student) Excuses. – Oh, so you want to me grade them like I do finite – just get drunk and start marking them all 0 or 50? – (student) No. We’re good. Take your time.

v  Say you have p sheep and some of the sheep kill each other. These are vicious sheep.

v  Partial fractions! We should be having traumatic memories of Cal 2 right now.

v  All models are bad, but some are useful.

v  This dry-erase marker is larger than an atom.

v  We can employ the method of… whatever to solve that.

v  There’s a quote… the shortest path between two truths passes through the complex plane.

v  You know, I don’t like Roman numerals. Roman numerals are stupid. *rubs it out and puts a 1 instead*

v  Let’s exponentiate this.

v  Any questions on how to find T? I hope we only have to find it for T, not coffee. *takes a sip*

v  I think f needs to be continuous for this theorem. Eh, I don’t care.

v  Uh-Oh. I’ve got c1and c2 switched in my notes. We’re in trouble.

v  I’m not an expert on differential equations. I’m just teaching this class because no one else wanted to.

v  Is everyone kind of okay with this?

v  Are you not entertained?

v  Okay, just pretend I’m allowed to multiply. Turns out I am. There’s probably a theorem somewhere to prove it.

v  We will solve this for the general solution, which is the answer of… whatever form for all questions like this.

v  (on SIR epidemic model) A recovered individual may or may not be dead. This model includes the dead people in the recovered. They are no longer infectious and are immune to further infection. I guess they’re not zombies, since they’re no longer infectious.

v  (on Laplace translation theorem) This theorem will not tell you how to calculate the Laplace transform in Spanish. De transformada de Laplace. No, we mean geometric translation.

v  This is an important theorem, which we won’t prove. Hooray.

v  It’s a fact from… somewhere… that an irreducible quadratic can be written as a sum of two square. You probably remember from algebra, how you could write it with arctan… Well, we’re doing something else now.

v  It will be the solution, the only solution, by some uniqueness theorem.

v  Okay, over here I have DE world, and over here I have Laplace world. This is the left side of the chart, and this is the right.

v  First I have to kill that 2 in front of x’.

v  This is one of our favorite methods from Cal 2. And how many times do we need to use it? Dos!

v  Is everyone okay with how we found x? The battle for x is over.

v  I think there is an arbitrary constant somewhere that I missed that’s important. Sorry, guys.

v  Why did we solve for F(x,y)? – (student) Because you told us to.

v  How about #4? Wait, I think we did #4 in class. How about #6? No, it looks like #4. Let’s do #8.

I think I'll actually miss this teacher...

In Pace Christi,

Elyse
"Why did we solve for F(x, y)?"

"Because you told us to."

- my differential equations professor and a disgruntled student

## Wednesday, April 30, 2014

### Saruman Will Defeat Rohan With Sugar

From FailBlog:

"Is this it? Is this all you can conjure, Saruman?"

...a few attacks by the brightly-colored blobs of sugary goodness on the Hornburg later...

"What can men do against such reckless Peeps?"

...

Okay, I thought it was funny. *slinks away*

In Pace Christi,

Elyse

## Thursday, April 24, 2014

### Mother Knows Best

This time, you really do want to skip the drama and stay with mama, because Our Lady truly does know best.

(I can't remember where I found that one, but it was on some Catholic Facebook face. I've found a lot of them. I'd never join Facebook just for their sake when I can lurk and snap up unconsidered trifles... memes, that is... but they do provide funny ways of sharing the Faith. I am very grateful for that.)

Oh, and this one was hilarious:

This is pretty much what happens whenever an evangelical Christian smells Catholicism. I've never been on the receiving end of this other than that one time. Actually, I've been pretty surprised by how little prejudice I've encountered at college (relatively speaking).

It probably helps that I avoid social interactions. Ah, well.

In Pace Christi,

Elyse

## Monday, April 21, 2014

### Let The Semester End Already

I'm at that point of the semester where I don't know if I want to sleep or cry in a corner more. This point of the semester is also characterized by the inability to decide whether to completely shut the world off and focus exclusively on studying or to just give up and start watching random animes until the wee hours of the morning.

Why.

Why, professors, why.

In Pace Christi,

Elyse

### Theory of Creativity

I would like to promulgate the following theory, proposed by myself about the relationship between real life and one's private fantasies:

Creativity is directly proportional to the amount of caffeine and sugar consumed and indirectly proportional to the amount of time available.

In mathematical terms, this would come out to:

C = k_1(a_c + a_s)/k_2t

where C stands for the amount of creativity, k_1 and k_2 are arbitrary constants of proportionality, a_c stands for the amount of caffeine consumed and a_2 for the amount of sugar consumed, and t stands for the amount of time available.

I do not know what units C will have, but right now it's looking something like grams/seconds. However, it is hard to define a mental/spiritual quality in physical terms, so this attempt to define it is doomed.

I still think this should be published in a research journal somewhere.

In Pace Christi,

Elyse

## Wednesday, April 16, 2014

### Help, The Fandom's Dragging Me Under!

When I know enough about Naruto to be able to understand where this Catholic Anime meme is coming from and also to be able to say, "Well, in his case, some angst is justified," that's a bad sign.

Someone, help. This fandom is dragging me under. I swore I would never join the league of magic ninjas. And you know what happens whenever I say "never"? IT HAPPENS.

I don't wanna join this fandom! I have the sinking sensation that my favorite character would be Sasuke and that I would then get my heart broken. I have enough depressing fandoms on my plate right now, thank you very much. *coughThereAndBackAgaincough*

*flees before the ninjas appear*

In Pace Christi,

Elyse

### For Your Holy Week Amusement

I am back with the latest round of Catholic-themed funnies! Credits for these first few go to Pope Hilarious gags on Facebook:

Dat cake.

This is both hilarious and very true. I think I'm going to save it, as I have the feeling I might someday be able to use it.

...I have quite an arsenal of Pope Benedict pictures and other Catholic-themed funnies with which to challenge any anti-Catholic hate directed towards me on the Internet. However, I haven't gotten any anti-Catholic hate. Strange. Not that I'm complaining, mind you. I just find it odd that the ultra-liberals haven't found me yet.

I guess there's benefits to being overlooked, as Merry Brandybuck once said. (Read the book.)

How's that for a good picture of Xtreme Papa? XD I like to call him that. I even have a shirt that says that, complete with a picture of him wearing sunglasses. (The image is sadly coming to pieces after being washed, so I don't wear it that often - twice a year at the most.) I continue the tradition by also saying 'Papa Ben' and 'Papa Frankie', even if I do it only on the Internet.

The Swiss Guards (Cors Helvetica) do not look impressed.

I have another of Pope Pius XII captioned: VENI AD ME, FRA, which is Latin for, "Come at me, bro." He seems to have been prone to this stance.

I don't call that a problem; I call that awesome!

This one's on Papa Frankie. His poor assistants... XD

In Pace Christi,

Elyse

## Monday, April 14, 2014

It's a bad sign when even your organic textbook gives up on trying to explain the reasoning behind some of IUPAC's nomenclature decisions and just says: "To keep things interesting, however, IUPAC recognizes eight exceptions for which a -yl ending rather than an -oyl ending is used..."

I really can't decide if IUPAC has its mysterious reasons for deciding how we should name chemical compounds, or if it's just a bunch of nutty Ph.D chemists in a room somewhere laughing maniacally as they assign arbitrary rules that we must all treat as law.

In Pace Christi,

Elyse

## Saturday, April 12, 2014

### My Latest Obsession Now Has Pictures

I cracked. I caved in. I preformed a Google search. Here are the glorious (non-spoilery) results:

So.... um... yeah. Winter Soldier for the win!

Oh, and since I'm one of those people massively upset that Hawkeye/Clint Barton hasn't had any more attention (because he is seriously awesome and deserves all the love), here's a picture of him, too:

I see no downsides to having these two awesome snipers on our Avengers team. Nope. None whatsoever.

*goes back to having non-fictional feels about fictional characters*

In Pace Christi,

Elyse

### Fulfilling My Duty To Spread Humor Through FailBlog

Therefore, have another batch of amusing pictures:

I love how official-looking that placard is...

Reports of "Cowabunga!" cannot be confirmed or denied.

Bonus points for that flip.

I vote for the entire chemistry faculty at my school to wear this shirt.

I think it's a definite improvement.

Because it's not a real fail until somebody loses a shoe.

We chemists and our sense of humor... Bonus points if you get it.

Always remember what Pippin said: "Short cuts make long delays!"

Ahahaha. I've had my good laugh for today. The idiots in the world have one useful purpose that way.

In Pace Christi,

Elyse

### Accurate Representation of Farm Life

Accurate gif is accurate. In fact, I would not be surprised IN THE LEAST if I found my brothers and/or cousins pulling this sort of stunt.

Oh, great... Now I've probably given them ideas...

I'll be here in this hay barn, pretending it's a reinforced bunker.

In Pace Christi,

Elyse

### I Have A Mighty Need

I really don't care what happens in Avengers 2: The Age of Ultron. I don't care about the plot. I don't care if Thor or Loki is in it. I'll be happy to see Agent Phil Coulson, but he isn't necessary.

No.

What I really want is the Winter Soldier.

He must be in it.

I have it all planned out. This is how it goes:

The Avengers are confronting the villain. Perhaps the villain is threatening the innocent populace; perhaps he has a weapon of mass destruction on hand. Perhaps he is doing the usual evil monologue. At any rate, they can't deal with him immediately because of various circumstances. And then...

The first and only indication anyone gets of the Winter Soldier is a sniper bullet suddenly taking out the villain.

Cue the newest addition to the Avengers team and even more epicness.

Please. This must happen. I'm begging you, Marvel. Do it. Dooooooo it.

In Pace Christi,

Elyse
"Dispersion of light occurs when the index of refraction depends on the wavelength of light. This dispersion is responsible for rainbows and Pink Floyd album covers."

-- my physics teacher, being awesome as usual

## Friday, April 11, 2014

### Cue The Wailing And Flailing

I saw Captain America: The Winter Soldier.

Accurate gif is accurate. My brain literally hurt from the awesomeness. As for my feels? They've been pretty much destroyed.

Gah.

In Pace Christi,

Elyse

## Thursday, April 10, 2014

### *Insert Keyboard Smash Here*

So I was just looking up the Fullmetal Alchemist voice actors on TVTropes.

Travis Willingham (Roy Mustang) is the voice of Mori from Ouran High School Host Club?

Vig Mignogna (Edward Elric) is the voice of Femio in Princess Tutu and Spirit Albarn in Soul Eater?

Laura Bailey (Lust) is married to Travis Willingham and is the voice of Tohru Honda from Fruits Basket and Maka Albarn from Soul Eater?

I think I need to go sit down quietly for a while and digest this.

...I REALLY need to watch Soul Eater now!!!!

In Pace Christi,

Elyse

### More Of My Nerd Problems

I did a couple more:

Although today it turned out one of the people in the class didn't know Disney had bought Lucasfilms and that two more Star Wars films were on their way. Where exactly has he been for the past year?

I swear, when I saw that rock in the glass case in the science building with the placard "sillimanite", the first thing I thought was, "Silmaril." And if there's anything I've learned from The Silmarillion, it's that the Silmarils are Magnets Of Doom. Do not touch.

In Pace Christi,

Elyse

## Wednesday, April 9, 2014

### Anime Papa Frankie!

It's a very pretty illustration from Catholic Anime, which never fails in its crusade to spread Catholicism through anime. I believe this picture is supposed to depict Argentina (quite fittingly) from Axis Powers Hetalia. As I do not follow that series, I cannot say for sure.

(I'm also not sure why Argentina would be blond, but it fits in nicely with the elegant golden vestments).

And, yes, 'Papa Frankie' is a nickname for Pope Francis. If there are t-shirts and mugs labeling John Paul II the Great 'Xtreme Papa' and Pope Benedict XVI as 'Papa Ben', then we can start calling Pope Francis 'Papa Frankie'. It's very nice.

Also, if you think the Pope is going to change official church doctrine.... neener, neener, neener. Joke's on you. I saw a syndicated columnist today admitting to a grudging liking to Pope Francis, although he said he wouldn't approve fully of him until he changed his mind about priestly celibacy, ordination of women, etc. Blah, blah, blah. When will these people understand that the Pope cannot change the dogmas of the Church? I guess the concept of objective truth is so lost to them that they cannot even begin to appreciate or respect the belief in it that others have. We must all conform to their nonconformity, and they do not even see the irony.

It doesn't help that at every family get together on one side of the family the Protestant members delight in repeating the various misinterpretations by the media of the Pope's words for our 'benefit'. We keep telling them that we don't trust the media to repeat the Pope's words faithfully, but somehow they assume that those misquotes prove something. I don't know.

I keep forgetting that logic doesn't work on most people.

In Pace Christi,

Elyse

### Smaug, Sherlock, & Pterosaurs

So, guess who got a DVD copy of The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug yesterday.

So I decided to continue my "Nerd Problems" series in honor of Smaug.

Confession time: I did not actually think those exact words when I first saw Smaug. Actually, I thought this: "Oh my gosh! He looks like an azhdarchid pterosaur! AWESOME!!!"

The better-informed nerd paleontologist afficiandoes on TVTropes, however, have stated that Smaug's body design is more reminiscent of an ornithocheiroid pterosaur, so I will follow their lead. Nevertheless, 'azhdarchid' is an infinitely cooler word than 'ornithocheiroid'. The Persian word for 'dragon' beats the Greek for 'bird hand' any day. Also, Quetzalcoatlus northropi is an azhdarchid, which makes that genus 20% more awesome.

Also, I found this highly amusing picture while looking up large pterosaurs:

That's right. Some artist seriously took the time to compare Arambourgiania philadelphiae to Sherlock. Sherlock Holmes, of Sherlock, played by Benedict Cumberbatch. Seriously. They even drew his purple scarf! I could hardly believe my eyes when I saw it. "Surely not," I thought. "They wouldn't actually put Sherlock in a pterosaur diagram."

Nevertheless, I clicked on the image to enlarge it. Sure enough, it was Sherlock. I immediately knew I had to blog it. (Don't believe me? Go to the Wikipedia article.)

Since I've seen so many fanart of Smaug wearing Sherlock's purple scarf, it seemed only appropriate that these pictures should end up in the same post together.

Also, they are not 'pterodactyls'. That refers only to the members of one specific type of pterosaur. The name for all prehistoric flying reptiles is pterosaur - Greek for 'winged reptile'. Get your facts straight, people.

Yes, it bothers me every time I see 'pterodactyl' misused now.

In Pace Christi,

Elyse

## Monday, April 7, 2014

### Yes, I See The Resemblance

Someone commented: "Looks like Obi-Wan took his uniform from a priest."

Haha, you think?

And, just for good measure:

Oh, why not? I'll just post all my Catholic Star Wars funnies.

Catholic geeks have the best sense of humor. Just sayin'. XD

In Pace Christi,

Elyse

## Saturday, April 5, 2014

### Dang You, Ed

So I bought the three-volume set of volumes 19, 20, and 21 of Fullmetal Alchemist today. Much epicness ensued. My family can testify that my reactions pretty much consisted of incoherent wailing and flailing.

Also, the words, "Dang you, Ed," were mentioned a few times. Why? Take a look:

It's not fair. It's just not fair. It was okay in the first few volumes because he was still a cute little kid. But now time has gone past (there's been a 6-month timeskip, too) and... well... Ed definitely looks older. Dang him.

I have other feels about Fullmetal right now (most of the Greed-related... weirdly enough. These three volumes really made me like Greed and Hohenheim, two characters whom I had just been meh about before), but let's just make this post Ed-centric, shall we?

Okay, so this post may also degenerate into anti-Twilight... but that is always an acceptable usage of a post and I am perfectly happy to demonstrate the manifold ways in which Edward Elric > Edward Cullen.

There is one and only Team Edward to which you should belong. Just sayin'.

Funnily enough, I actually got to this part in the manga today. He punched through a wall and choked a guy. While still standing on the other side of the wall.

WHILE STILL EATING.

In fact, some soldiers are pointing guns at him, and, "NOM NOM NOM" is written next to him to denote his nonchalant chewing.

Edward Elric, people.

Look, it's Ed being adorable for once! Quick, get the camera and record the moment for posterity!

AKA that moment in the first episode when you realized things were probably going to get epic.

AKA that moment in the first episode when you knew things were gonna get EPIC.

And things have only gotten more epic from there.

In Pace Christi,

Elyse