I Finally Did It. Poor Lindir.

So my geeky brother gave me the idea for this a few months ago one night while we were watching The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey, and now that I have had a little free time and was in the mood to do it, I've done it.

Here it is. I regret nothing.

As I said, I regret nothing! Ahahahahaha. I feel like I should go to a Tolkien confessional and say, "Bless me, Father, for I have sinned; I have come to like Dwarves more than Elves," but it's true. It's amazing what AUJ did to me.

Now, don't get me wrong, I still adore a bunch of Elves from the First Age - Beleg, Fingolfin, Glorfindel, und so weiter. And Elrond is my second-favorite LOTR character. But, in general... yeah, Dwarves. They've just got so much relatable personality. How can you not like them?

Oh, and I also did this, as a reaction image:

I know, it didn't take much effort. But I got to cross it off my virtual to-do list.

In Pace Christi,

Elyse

All That Is Gold - Hobbit Edition

The one poem that no Tolkien fan will ever be tired of reciting, applied to The Hobbit and in particular to our majesty would-be King under the Mountain.

All that is gold is not good, either. Saw DOS again yesterday... It hurt when I noticed that Thorin looks at the gold just before Bilbo comes skidding into view.

TABA is going to hurt so much.

In Pace Christi,

Elyse

The Pity of Bilbo

Tolkien, your Catholicism is showing.

I always find it so incredibly moving that it's not killing an army of aliens or slaughtering oliphaunts that saves Middle-earth. What saves Middle-earth is Bilbo choosing not to kill Gollum, not striking without need, and then later Frodo keeping Gollum alive despite his many opportunities (handing him over to Faramir, for instance).

They saved a life. Not just any life, either - no. They saved the life of someone who had murdered, lied, stolen. They saved the life of someone who intended to kill them and eat them. They saved the life of someone who had (not entirely willingly) alerted Sauron to their presence. They saved the life of someone who could have ratted them out to the orcs, drowned them in the Dead Marshes, and revealed them at the Black Gates. They saved the life of someone who tried to feed them to a giant demigoddess spider.

And yet Bilbo did not kill Gollum. Frodo did not kill Gollum. On the slopes of Mount Doom, even Sam did not kill Gollum.

They saved Middle-earth.

How's that for Catholic?

That's part of the reason why I think The Avengers is so good - they defeat the Chitauri because Tony Stark is willing to sacrifice his life to stop the aliens. It's that sacrifice play that does the job.

In Pace Christi,

Elyse

Always Reblog the Fabulous Thranduil

So someone on Tumblr saw that gif of Thranduil being fabulous. You know the one. Yes, you do - don't bother to deny it.

And this happened:

In which Thranduil is actually Emperor Kuzco. Bonus points for Fili's wide-eyed look of horror, Kili's look of, "Seriously? This is what Elves are like?" (he also appears to be covering Bilbo's eyes for him!! Aw, that's so thoughtful of you, Kili!), and then... just... Thorin's facepalm.

That facepalm. It just screams years of Thorin having to endure Thranduil's fabulousness with every diplomatic visit. It says, "Here we go again." I can't get enough of it.

And can we talk about how Legolas just gets Thranduil's cloak thrown on him and doesn't move? It's like he's used to it by now. The poor guy. No wonder Legolas getting embarrassed by his dad has become memetic in the Tolkien fandom.

I love this fandom so much, y'all.

In Pace Christi,

Elyse

Further Desolation of Feels, Anyone?

Friendly reminder that Thorin is all alone in this collection of brothers because his own little brother, Frerin, died at the battle of Azanulbizar at the age of 48.

48.

For context, Fili is 82 and Kili is 77.

You may now go cry buckets of tears.

If you want me to make it worse, I can share my headcanons with you: namely, I believe that Kili resembles Frerin a great deal and that that is why Thorin is so protective of him, and that Frerin was killed by Azog trying to protect Thorin.

You may now go cry even more buckets of tears.

In Pace Chrsti,

Elyse

Smaug - No and Yes

Me watching An Unexpected Journey for the first time. This is definitely not Smaug.

THIS is Smaug.

In Pace Christi,

Elyse

Relatively Non-Spoilery DoS Impressions

1. Bombur is all sorts of awesome, even if he never says a word. The barrel sequence should put that beyond all doubt. Also, he proves Gimli correct when he says in The Two Towers: "We Dwarves are natural sprinters... very dangerous over short distances."

2. I am officially in love with Erebor's technology. What we see of it can't be in prime condition but it's still capable of working. Take that, Smaug.

3. Smaug is the best cinematic dragon of all time, hands down. THAT VOICE. And a good percentage of it isn't even effects - it's just what Benedict Cumberbatch was able to do with a microphone. He poured everything he had into bringing this dragon to life, and it shows. Let's give him all the credit not just for the voice acting but for the motion-capture as well.

4. Martin Freeman is Bilbo. 100% of the time I forget that it's acting. He's just that believable as Mr. Baggins. It's amazing to watch him play Bilbo as the Ring begins to affect him and Smaug toys with his mind. Utterly amazing.

5. The same thing goes for Richard Armitage as Thorin. Watching Thorin begin to be affected by the gold fever/dragon sickness is heart-breakingly painful. There And Back Again is only going to be worse in this regard. Gah.

6. If you don't love Bard and his family to bits, I'm not sure what's wrong with you. For a character who gets introduced at the last minute in the book and gets very little characterization, they've done excellently with him. He rungs rings around the Master of Laketown's spy network and helps the Dwarves even after he's argued with Thorin (and made some pretty valid points, at that).

7. Legolas was awesome. He's also strangely hilarious. The absurd look of mixed jealousy and big brother overprotectiveness as he watches Tauriel speak to Kili in the dungeons sealed it. Also, his fight with Bolg. For the first time in five movies, Legolas is injured. It's just a bit of dizziness and a nosebleed, but it's still the first time he's been injured. All he ever got in LOTR was a bit of dirt on his face. And his reaction was priceless, too: he stared at his own blood and you could just see that everything became personal for him with Bolg, like, "You do NOT make me bleed my own blood."

8. I was pleasantly surprised at how much I liked Tauriel. She was very much what I would picture a Sylvan Elf to be like. In fact, if they had cut out Thranduil's suggestion that Legolas likes her, made the healing scene with Kili a bit shorter, and possibly removed Kili's feverish, "Would she ever love me?" I would have absolutely no problem with her and probably would praise her despite her non-canonical status.

If you're gonna give us girls a role model character, at least don't bog her down with romantic subplots. Sheesh.

Even so, the threatened Kili-Tauriel love story wasn't really what we all feared it to be. It was actually really sweet and platonic. They expressed curiosity in each other and each other's races. She sympathized with his promise to return home safely to his mother because she has lost her own parents (not stated directly in the movie, but mentioned in various interviews).

9. NEEDS MORE FILI. I've been saying that since AUJ and I'll continue to say it. Must Kili forever overshadow his awesome older brother. (C'mon, Kili, quit hogging the spotlight...) However, Fili's endless arsenal of knives was hilarious to watch. The Elves couldn't find them all, hahaha.

And Fili finally did it. When Thorin tells the injured Kili to remain behind in Laketown, Fili protests, arguing that he'd carry Kili up the mountain himself if he had to, but that they wanted to see the halls of their fathers. Thorin tells Fili, "When you are king, then you will understand," and Fili is just like, "No, sorry, uncle. My place is with my brother," and says behind in Laketown with Kili.

*cries pathetically over Durin family feels*

Also, Bofur waking up after being drunk under the table at about that point was hilarious. XD Gotta love Bofur. Hope we get to see one of Jimmy Nesbitt's daughters splash water on him in the Extended Edition...

10. I don't have any pictures of Beorn, but he was a real One-Scene Wonder. His roar is enough to scare off Azog and his hunters. Some serious awesomeness going on there.

Also, the Necromancer vs. Gandalf. That and Smaug are worth the price of admission alone.

Gah, I wanna go see it again so badly!!!

In Pace Christi,

Elyse

Just Saw DoS

I'll post more when I'm coherent.

In Pace Christi,

Elyse

The Cast of DoS

Tomorrow, people. Tomorrow. I'm counting down the hours.

In Pace Christi,

Elyse

We Are All Belle Here

And before you say, "Thorin is technically a king!" I shall reply, "Well, he hasn't been officially crowned yet..."

Not sure what that makes Fili and Kili then. O.o. Official heirs? Next-in-lines? Whatever.

In Pace Christi,

Elyse